I HELP WOMEN LEARN HOW THEY CAN BE IN RELATIONSHIPS WITHOUT LOSING THEMSELVES
IN FACT, RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE OUR BIGGEST AVENUE FOR RETURNING TO OURSELVES (if we have the tools)
Do any of these sound like you?
It’s very hard for you to express what you want to your partner. You often jump to their preferences or just go along with what they want.
You tend to get swallowed by relationships. Your own interests and hobbies take a back seat. You may even abandon former friendships or fall solely into your partner’s social life.
You crave alone time but don’t know how to ask for it.
You love your partner and what you two have together— but sometimes you miss what you used to have and who you got to be when you were single
You’re often met with a nagging feeling that things aren’t ok or that your partner is upset with your
Despite “knowing,” this is your habit/pattern, you still feel paralyzed when it comes to doing something would potentially upset or annoy your partner
Maintaining who we are within the structure of a partnership, a shared life, is no small feat.
Especially if, like me, you’re wired with the following:
A history of people pleasing
A fear that if you disappoint others, they’ll leave
A history of sourcing all your self worth from accomplishment (It feels soooo good)
A tendency to always be on (I’m just not good at relaxing!)
A tendency to be the caretaker, the nurturer, but also the one who’s so damn burnt out
“Clara was a delight to work with, never judgmental. Her inquisitive style had me learning about myself and viewing my relationships in ways I hadn’t considered.”
Relationships, whether you realize or not, are draining you of your energy, because you’re always giving so much — even if it’s subtle, performative, behavior— to the other person.
This pattern has you constantly questioning your relationship, monitoring and worrying about the other person in one breath, and then wondering if the stress and worry is a signal that the relationship isn’t right in another.
You might have seen the damage this does in your past relationships, where you kept your mouth shut out of fear of hurting them but eventually got to a point of such disconnection and resentment that it was making you miserable.
As long as you can’t really express who you are and how you feel, relationships will continue continue to drain you of your energy and not amount to the kind of deep connection you crave.
this is for you if
You love being around your partner but you miss your alone time
You can’t stop worrying about them or asking ‘Are we ok?’ even though you often feel stupid doing it
You sometimes feel trapped in the relationship — but can you trust that feeling?
There’s a specific thing about your partner that drives you INSANE and you wonder if that makes you a bad person OR that you’re with the wrong person?
You have wondered how to know if you’re meant to stay in this relationship. What is enough?
You sometimes miss being single because certain things were easier
You find it really hard to talk about money, sex, their health habits, etc.
LET’S WORK TOGETHER
I have a feeling you don’t want to spend your life questioning whether or not this is the right relationship for you or staying in something that you can’t fully enjoy. Let’s figure that out.
“We’d spent years in marriage counseling, making barely perceptible progress, when I heard Clara on a podcast. While she spoke in the context of dating, what she said applied to my 10-year marriage. In my analytical ‘do-er’ mentality, my intention was to present my marital concerns to Clara, have her ‘fix it,’ tick that off my to-do list, and move on to the next obstacle in my life. What I received wasn’t the answer, it wasn’t a fix, but rather how to ask the right questions and inspect my long-held beliefs that I wasn’t even consciously aware of.
We covered more ground and I uncovered more about myself and my relationship under her guidance in those few months than I had in those years of therapy. The amount of clarity and peace that came from this work was life-changing.”
You probably have a lot of gratitude for your relationship. Maybe it’s a decade long marriage with a lot of shared history and a few kiddos. Maybe it’s just a few months old, but it’s arrived on the heals of a years long dating spell where you just weren’t meeting anyone.
But there are parts of sharing a life with someone that you resent. You miss your alone time. It felt easier to make decisions. You had complete control over your money. You didn’t have to deal with someone else’s unpredictable mood or food choices.
Don’t get me wrong, you love certain aspects — the memory building, the shared experiences, someone to emotionally confide in. But sometimes the presence of that person and relationship in and of itself feels more like a weight you need to tend to than an anchor.
Although I thought I needed help working through my part of my marriage dynamic, once we started working together I realized what I actually needed was much bigger. I needed to better understand how my childhood and past relationships were influencing how I showed up in all of my relationships, not just my marriage. The biggest takeaway was the work I needed to do on my relationship with myself. At the end of our time together I feel like I have stable footing underneath me as I keep working to find myself again and show up differently in my relationships.
Clara was able to connect with me and support me in a way I have not experienced with any other practitioner.
HERE’S HOW WE DO THAT
We work very intimately together for 12-16 weeks. Through a combination of:
One-on-one coaching calls
Customized written work + action oriented homework
Personalized reading, listening and watching assignments
24/7 availability via text + email for live support in between sessions
….we’re working to create the following:
A way of operating in relationship that allows you to maintain your sense of self
Practices (internal and external) that reverse the unhelpful patterns of people pleasing, quieting your voice, building resentment
A rich connection with your partner, with also the space to live your own life
Clara has been a gift I wish I could bestow on any woman who finds herself adrift from where she wants to be and needs support to define her goal and actually get there. For the first time in the last eight years, I am actually excited and optimistic about my future.
ALL MY PROGRAMS INCLUDE
Detailed assessment of your past/current romantic relationships + key lessons to incorporate into our work.
A customized dating + relationship program tailored to your individual circumstances and larger romantic journey.
A individualized approach to meeting people in person + navigating the apps based on your unique needs and history
A review of your current professional life — what’s in alignment, what’s not, and how that’s playing out in your romantic life
A review of your non-romantic relationships (friendship, colleagues, etc) and how that’s influencing your romantic life
A review of your day-to-day life/schedule, with recommended changes to further optimize your environment for evolution + growth